yin and yan


If I don’t keep the drill sergeant in my head in check, he runs rampant and can be as tyrannical as this guy.  But he keeps me focused, goal oriented, productive, disciplined, and yes, sometimes a little beaten up.

Child_playing_in_the_sand_at_Misquamicut_BeachThe only one strong enough to repudiate him is the sometimes aimless girl on the beach — lover of nature, smells, observation, play, stillness.

I tend to be led by either of them, but sadly they don’t get along. Like an acrimoniously divorced couple, they can’t be in the same room.  When the Sarge moves in, the girl wanders off to a more peaceful beach, and when the girl has something to say, the Sarge kicks the dirt, spits and hightails it in the other direction.

This is my latest thing, for some reason it seems to be working.  And hopefully I’m not on a path to having these conversations aloud, for then I will have much bigger problems than sergeants and girls on beaches not talking.  I have been using my rusty HR tools to start a dialog between these two aggrieved parts of me.  “I hear you saying that you’re feeling ignored” “Tell us what makes you feel bullied”.

in the morning, I ask the girl what she wants to do that day and where she’d like to go.  She loves being asked.  Then I ask the Sarge to start creating a roadmap, which he’s all over.  After all, he’s a logistics man.  And then the girl is grateful for the directions to get where she’s going without getting lost.  Everyone’s happy, everyone’s talking.  Let’s see how long it lasts.

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